First of all let us be clear about what Mindfulness is. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way…. on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally, to things as they are… (Jon Kabat-Zinn) So, Mindfulness is about paying attention - bringing our attention to something in a particular way, e.g. for some reason. We are [...]
So what actually happens when you come to a counselling session? You have taken the first and hardest step by picking up the phone and ask for a session. This is probably the hardest part of counselling – picking up the phone with those anxious feelings and churning stomach. Well done. The counsellor will ask [...]
Assertiveness is when we express our anger in a healthy way. It is a healthy expression of anger. In our culture, assertiveness could be seen as teaching other people how to treat us, hear us and respect us without disrespecting them. Have you ever been in a job and gone to pay for something and [...]
There are 5 anger styles – Aggressive, Passive, Passive Aggressive and Rage and Assertiveness. Let me give a very short explanation of each before exploring rage in more detail. Aggressive anger is when someone explodes when they are angry. They don’t hold back and you know they are angry – it is like a volcano [...]
This blog concentrates on boys growing up and how they are taught to deal with emotions and why they can have issues/problems with anger. John Hawes, (https://www.jameshawes.org) who has worked with men for a long time and run AWARE Workshops , identifies the following 4 areas, as the root of men’s anger. Family Like all [...]
We are very good at categorising our emotions into good and bad. In her book The Language of Emotions Karla McLaren describes them like this. “The socially accepted view is that there are good emotions and bad emotions. These categories have a bit of interplay, but basically, good emotions are the ones that make us [...]
We all get angry, I have just got angry with a man on the phone ringing me up out of the blue from a company I have never heard of asking me if I had a car accident in the last 2 or 3 years that was not my fault. My reply, “Why, if it [...]
You may or maybe not be aware that there is a connection between our minds and our bodies. What we eat affects our minds and what we think affects our bodies. The medical world did not recognise this at first. Until approximately 300 years ago, virtually every system of medicine throughout the world treated the [...]
I thought I would revisit this but look at it a bit more generally rather than going into a lot of detail about each aspect. If you want more detail on each aspect then read the earlier blogs, I have included the links. This is a more general view and touching a little on how [...]
In an earlier blog I talked about how our thoughts can trigger us to have an angry outburst. These thoughts can be difficult to identify but I believe, with help and reflection on what is happening within us before we erupt, we can identify the thoughts and the feelings. See blog on Thoughts and Behaviour [...]